Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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