God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize