the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
