dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
