Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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