If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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