Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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