Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
