At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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