just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
