did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
