can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
