Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
