Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
