i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
