I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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