omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Everything about him screamed your future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
