Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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