i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
