She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Actions speak louder than pants.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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