I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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