Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize