You just made me feel so damn special
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
