so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
