You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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