i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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