I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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