I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
