I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wish there were birth control emojis
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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