OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
