My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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