I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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