Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
