Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
