More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
