He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
