Three words: puerto rican gang bang
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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