im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
