Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
