Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
