meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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