He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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