Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
