Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize