I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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