his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You took a bar mat shot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
