Have you finally orgasmed yet?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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