every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
