It's Friday. Sex?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
