Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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