hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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