is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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