It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
