Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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