Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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