Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
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Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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