lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
please come you make the beer taste better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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