I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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