Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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