"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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