Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
