Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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