I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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