Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
