I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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